"Grand Noir" (2022)

Love Transcending

New law, new path, keep the lights on
Shining down that crooked road in midnight
Tis the new life, new dawn and new order zone
Being exhausted now you'll have to fight

Your own heart and all its shadows
Shackles of your past

There are thousand miles between us
Connection failed - there was no guarantee
Keep holding on the impossible trust
Loose easily as evening cup of tea

We've paid our price, lost our dear ones
Walked through our own deaths and failures
The sunrise is still cold as our offerings
Withered on the altar of the wailers

My weary heart and all its shadows...

Is it the game or dreams or true creation
By the power of mind?
What does await there - down the black horizon?
Will our destiny unwind?

Love transcending
I didn't bargain for
Still demanding
To be somethng more

There are thousand miles between us
Connection failed - there was no guarantee
Keep holding on the impossible trust
Loose easily as evening cup of tea

Keep the lights on
Shining down that road
Keep the lights on
While we are untold

Gift

Dear God, is that your gift?
Black demise for short uplift
Guide that's been forever lost
Those who love destroy the most

Tear my limbs for using wings
Year of winter, day of spring
Setting free you put in cage
Love of yours is but the rage

Love of us is but the hate
Black swan data congregate
Dirge, the wailers' lullaby
Leave us here alone to die

Another night of suicide
Dark eternally abides
'Stead of words I hear but cries
Love no-way-no-way to rise

Dear God, is that your gift?
Black demise for short uplift
Guide that's been forever lost
And those who love destroy the most

Destroy the most!

Universal Assasinphonie

When dusk creeps into the abode of my emptiness
When the void melts from longing for itself
Neon blood pours into my eyes
Neon poison flows down your arms
I penetrate you with my pain
Your world will be destroyed
So that I can love you again
I want to know you,
I don't want to know
All you have to do
Is to obey my sinister hypnosis
All you have to do is
To be entranced by my horror
And to love the hell of my
Inexhaustible sorrow

Thousand, thousand lips
And thousand of their tastes
The same old passion
And familiar pain
All of you are similar
Like my
Inevitable disappointment
Youthful fluff above the lip
Hot breath bouncing off my neck
Tight breasts, strangled moans
Your whispers ricochet my face
My fingertips
Trip down your satin leather
My condemnation lasts
To make your poor heart weep

Tonight the world is mine
Is mine to rape and reap
I'm the tired collector
Of all these lustful plots
Soaked in the bitterness of years, like tar
Mummified splendor
Called to scrutinize
Gaps and ambiguities of paradise
I am the Virgo
With the serpent on my chest
With the scorpio's milk in my hands
A lunar demon in its dark
Rebellious decay

Penetro te cum dolore
Mundus tuus destruetur
Ut iterum te amo
Cupio scire te,
Nolo scire
Omnes vos have ut facere
Ut faucibus mi a metus
Et amare infernum meum

A little love
I asked for
Once upon a life
Becomes a tornado of reckoning
For the grief
That you caused to me
For your full disclosure
In the arms of my
Narcotic terror

I am the counter of blackness
In the heart of the sun

Exhausted
I'll fall on your body
Praying to forgotten gods
So that they won't
Let us part

Todas Mis Amantes

I saw the only glister of our bodies
There deep down our dark room
Of innocent lust, of our befouled trust
In the gloom
Where we were the only saints
And the rest of them - dirty sinners
Who laid on this bed before us
I felt the only the power of the hierarch
The power of nature, given to me
By a distant ancestor-winner of the pack
Impregnating the future
Fetus of mankind's woe
The relay of its curse

I heard the only breathing of your bliss
Head tilted back looked like a sleeping mother
Or a breastfeeding mother
Excited by the torture of existence
And I was god
A black god penetrating
And celebrating his small
Bleeding victim lamb
Intoxicated by its pain
Enchanted with its death
The shepherd of your fears
I watched'em sleep among
The mammal snowwhite clouds

Mutilated, disfigured Eros
Stretches with crooked fingers of leprosy
Towards the fresh meat of beauty
Viands of violence
Once felt sorry for you but now
Became a succubus devoid of compassion
With the heart of his unsatisfied hunger
There deep down his dark room
Where the last of his hope has perished
Where the sun became old
Like the bed of his dust and cold

All who I loved - only glister of transience
Fleeting moments of poisonous sip of oblivion
Weighed against life and death
Making me god, making me free of existence
In the unusual role of the demiurge
Not afraid of his own disappearance
I saw the only glister of our bodies
I heard the only breathing of your bliss
I felt only the cosmic cold waiting for us
Outside the window.

Never Found

I cracked like chocolate in the jaws of morning shit truck
I blow the horns for your replenishment of my infinite damage
Past is alive, the future's gone, today is deader than dead
That's where I stuck
With youthful frenzy and the childish rampage

And now I wait,
Been waiting all the lifetime
I blame you for you've never been beside me
My deep desire was
But a silent crime
I blame you ever for you've never found me

I'm geting weak, still nothing changes in my daily life
The dairy fay writes down his corny thoughts to diary of my gravestone
I'm still that angry ugly child inside the dark room bleeding -
No, nothing's changed a lot
But hospitals and restaurants

And I don't believe you, bitch
No longer believe in anything
Why didn't you save me, bitch?
Twas all that I needed...

I need you to be my whore
I need you to be my slave
The harder I lust the more
I ask you my soul to save
And all that your heart repells
You're the angel for someone else.

But now I wait,
Been waiting all the lifetime
I blame you for you've never been beside me
My deep desire was
But a silent crime
I blame you ever for you've never found me

I lost my former toys
Given myself to the roads
This bitterness I exploit
When it's closer to give a load...

Nothing To Say

Still there are thistles on the shore
Still there are shouts of tortured whore
Still wave is crashing on my bay
And there is nothing I can say

I'll still be wating for your voice
I will still have no other choice
The set is dark the sun is dim
And we continue demon's whim

All these allusions - no result
I gather tears that turned to salt
The world keeps going its own way
And babe... there's nothing I can say

Still everyone fucks everyone
And all the promises are done
We started all so happily
Repeat that role eternally

The same old song played thousand times
The same old innocence in crimes
Once given all for useless play
I find there's nothing I can say

I'll learn to cheat, I'll learn to treat
Us sick to death in last retreat
I found no clue, I had my way
And in the end I've got

Nothing to say
Nothing to say
Nothing to say
Nothing to say

Still there are thistles on the bay
The world keeps going its own way
We're given up to useless play
And there is nothing...

Nothing I can say!

Les Clochards De La Nuit

Vous n'avez besoin de personne.
Même ma voix vient de l'autre côté de la terre.
Vous avez juste besoin de voir les lettres que je tape.
Des lettres se répandant comme des asticots sur la surface noire mortelle de l'écran.
Tu es un enfant adulte, ta vie passe entre la vaisselle sale d'un bistrot de chemin de fer, un lave-auto intarissable et des cons qui sentent le tabac et le goudron.
Vous arrachez les feuilles du calendrier aussi vite et mécaniquement que vous pelletez des cendres et vomissez dans la poubelle.
Le feu tamisé de vos désirs sommeille dans une voiture à siège réservé quand, à la fin de votre quart de travail, vous rentrez chez vous dans le noir.
Chez vous, en silence.
Avec les clochards de la nuit.

L'aube rencontre les visages endormis de ceux qui sont assis à la fenêtre, sur le pont avec une fiole d'alcool, dans le pré.
Vous n'essayez plus de vous souvenir de la forme de ces lèvres pâles qui vous creusaient la nuit.
Vous essayez de ne regarder personne dans les yeux.
Demain il y aura quelqu'un d'autre ou il n'y aura personne.
Comment apaisant. Quelle tristesse.
Vous assemblez votre propre film à partir de bribes de souvenirs.
Un film de cadres qui s'effondrent sans intrigue, accompagné de la même musique.
La même musique
Dix, vingt, trente, quarante ans.
Une seule et même musique
Et les clochards de la nuit.

Un jour, nous irons à Bora Bora, boire Blue Curaçao sur la plage dorée.
Je serai vieille et faible, j'aurai pitié de toi, ma fée, car je ne pourrai plus te faire l'amour.
Avec ma pitié j'implorerai votre pitié pour moi.
Et le jour où il nous semblera que tout est devenu à jamais bon, je te perdrai.
Tu mourras dans mes bras
Et je vais trouver celui qui a fait ça et lui casser une bouteille sur la putain de tête.
Ses amis me tireront dessus à la mitraillette. Et c'est ainsi que mon film se termine.
Mon film, tournant dans un cercle vicieux dans mon imagination, quand je regarde par la fenêtre, les murs du bar - n'importe où...
Comme si quelqu'un allait me juger.
Même si je sais qu'il n'y a personne ici à part moi
Et les clochards de la nuit.

L'inexistence tisse sa toile des restes d'illusions, des cadavres de nos vains espoirs, où nos yeux collants, comme des mouches en gelée, se figent à jamais.
Un enfant stupide et un vieil homme devenu fou observent de loin cette immense toile d'araignée et admirent ses bijoux.
Certains se réjouiront toujours tandis que d'autres verseront leur sang.
Et après avoir perdu notre maison, après avoir perdu des êtres chers, après nous être perdus, enfin, nous arrivons au point de départ.
Nous comprenons qu'il ne nous reste plus qu'à garder le silence sur tout.
Avec des plats en rangée, ainsi que les lumières tamisées du train
Et les vagabonds -
Les clochards de la nuit.

The Impossible

As the cold pale lights
Hypnotize
My weary eyes -
Only a moment of rest
In the ocean of suffering...

I wish you were here with me
But you just don't exist
As there is no exit
But the hopeless longing...

We were born to ask the thousand questions
And to never find the answers
All the lifetemie
I'm alone in this
I'm alone in this...

We hear the same words and songs
But different ways
We think we love the same thing
But that is something deep in ourselves
We cannot share...

You cannot feel the sorrow for my father
Who passed away - because you've never known him
I cannot ease your pain - as it has no appearence
We only can pretend
To soothe our worried minds

Love is impossible, my dear
Love is impossible...
Pretend to never understand
Pretend you swallowed all those bitter pills...

You're not my generation
You're not my kind
We all are aliens
The prisoners of our inner selves

Again the dark night swallows me
Astray on foreign crossroads...
And no one knows
No one comes
I am alone in this
I am alone in this...

I wish I could have said goodbye
And leave this world
But something always wakes me up
From dream of truth
Back to the nightmare of existence

My everlasting suicide
And years of time stand still
And so to speak
Eventually
I am alone in this...

Love is impossible, my dear
Love is impossible...
Pretend to never understand
Pretend you swallowed all those bitter pills...

Only a moment of rest
To retain us here
Only a moment of rest
Only a moment of rest...

Fuck Me, Baby!

I want to lick it up all night
To lick it up till wet
I wanna be your mastermind
I wanna be your pet

I wanna be your god of lust
A demon dog of love
There's neither kindness between us
Nor truth there up above

Fuck Me, Baby!

I want to suck your kiss and then
As it was a middle-toe
My thumb feels alright in your stain
I am your body's foe

Well if a woodchuck could chuck the wood
I'd chew and swallow words
Let's play against our neighborhood
Show'em our naked swords

Fuck Me, Baby!

I want to be explored
I wanna be your silly song
I wanna be your sugar daddy
I wanna be your son
I wanna be your fucking whore!
I wanna fuck you all night long!

Fuck Me, Baby!

Manifest Of Doom

The end of summer in the gloom
My eyes beneath the moon
The lair of long-forgotten tomb
The whirlwinds' baleful croon
The blooded semicirque careened
The grass upon my frown
The branches broken by the wind
The forehead thorned with brown

And so be it - the villain cates
Existence that intoxicates
With years of torments, days of bloom
I manifest my doom!

The mindraped baby in the chest
Of mutilated man
The same old darkness starts the fest
The same old coldenin' rain
The sick of mind - there's no escape
Until you loose your fate
My words recorded on the tape
The swords allegiate

It didn't happen overnight
It took the years of fight
To whisper my disaster
So light...

And so be it - the heaven's gate
Travails and penalty forfeit
With years of torments, days of bloom
I manifest my doom!

I'll die with you as summer ends
The end of time, the last amends
My ceasing lifetime's blasting bomb
Dead flowers that my fingers comb

And so be it - I die injust
Let summon gods as stormy gust
Let them behold the hour of gloom
My manifest of doom

Leave Me Here Dying

We knew it all
We knew it all before
You are the empty dream
I am the fucking whore
We knew it all
We should have made it all
Another way...

Just the beautiful tale
Is stronger than the deepest truth
The deepest of all hearts
The emptiness that never falls apart

Take your chance
As you still know nothing
Live and let die
Leave me here dying

There's no rehab, no sanctuary
That could have saved my worhless life
Please, honor me, my dream, mon reve
Hit the last rusty neil to my coffin
A pouch of soil upon my grave

We knew it all
We knew it all before

Another tiny light fades away
And addiction enslaves my soul again
And I leave you for the feast of illusions

We knew it all
We knew it all before

Leave me here dying
Leave me here dying
Leave me here dying
Leave me here dead...

Leave me here dying
Leave me here dying
Leave me here dying
Leave me here dead...

A Moment Of Confusion

Fall in love with everyone you see...
Falling like a thousandth raindrop to the sea
Finding everyone as your the only one
And in the moment see they all have gone

Listening to the same old desperate songs
Find yourself the one who'd sing'em all
Dying for a single human touch
Letting go, not letting go as much

Wish that feast of madness never ends
Longing for a single pretty friend
Alcohol of suicidal dose
To hide behind the craziest dispose

Please don't let me fall in love you
Loose desire, erradicate my breath
And I let this world flow pure
Unsuspecting o'er my sudden death

All Those Distant Voices

The inevitable flight
In the blurry neon lights of the night
Vanquish bitterness and hopelessness
And forget just who you are...
For the namelessness afar
The night-soil of the fallen star

All of them are sunken down
So let me drown
Please let me drown...

The scars you made are all indelible
Reframed my mind, disfigured my blind heart
I wish I breathed the frosty mountain air
When I pour bitter gallons into my jar
And give onto the violence

God bless the loneliness of men
Want to erase you from my memory
Want to forget just who we are
The haunting beauty of betrayal
The haunting pleasure of denial
The suffocating joy of loss
Alienation minted on our souls
Damnation in the seal of Cain embossed

So let me drown
Please let me drown
For the namelessness afar





August 04, 2023
© Copyright: Ardallion, 2023