"Rejected" (2005)

Abandoning The Sunlit Dying

Having raped to death my hope bedewed with tears
I move it out of wasted heart
Having drunk from fire my soul decays in fears
The morbid sound of thwart

Lying on the burning sands beneath the sun
I close my dripping eyes
My fraud of man, my inner self has gone
My foolish wings won’t rise

Remembrance of my hate
Flows through the years of love
The masks, the shadows, make up fate
Dark silence far above
I’m full of dirt and pain
Rejected by the world
I’ll never love to fucking try again
Nothing is done what’s told

With smile of my nonentity
I blow my kiss with curse
And kill your damn serenity
With poison of remorse
And all beheld in rotting hand
I crash, I slay, I drain
And in a second to my death
I’ll kill you
In my wicked hand

Rain Of Tears

The little angel child
Just died within my hand
His eyes are opened wide
So calm, he lies on sand
The fire sunk for keeps
Into the darkest night
I’m standing on my knees
I can no longer cry
My cruel morbid fate
I feel its cold disease
Smile from the heaven’s gate
With rain of burning tears

All that I ever loved
Destroyed at me again
All that I ever tried
Was taken in the end
And sorrow’s ebon seal
Has split my heart in two
The one still tries to feel
Another takes it through
In shadows I shall weep
Alone, alone again
So terrible, so deep
Forevermore in vain

Meeting The Firstborn

In the cave of the arcane of emerald walls
She is giving the life to her child
She was mad she had gone from the order of monks
She was straight and so weird and so wild

Chased by call of the priest and inquisitor’s eye
Sinister walks behind her all time
She would never obey otherwise she would die
Love was only her terrible crime

Night is loosing her hounds but they never would bark
Tasting smell of her step red and warm
She conceals from herself burnt inside devil’s mark
On the neck of the saint pointed horn.

Night…
Cover her with the asymmetry
Of the reflections from mosaic glass
And limn the brow of higher sanctity
That flows down from those ancient eyes

Child…
Don’t cry tonight they wait for you
The doom and sacral fire
Another’s guilt they blame on you
For death is their desire

And the sister moon came in the end of that pain
Taking softly her cold weary hand
Child’s asleep, will he wake to be hunted again
All life through under sinister hand

Misery waits outside with its chain and the lash.
No escape if you show up your face
Hide into darkest night or the knives come to slash
Everything for their own disgrace

Nihil Dant Nihil

(Nothing begets nothing)

Nothing will help you, little praying nothing
You’ll tremble and die at your icon alone.
The beautiful fades like a shadow from your cross
All of your hope is already gone.
The helpless will mix to this blood spilling mincer
Crying their helpless invisible tears
Pain and destruction will cover each season
Each fucking day of your each fucking year.
World full of nothing but cheating illusions,
Stupidest faith and ridiculous love
We imagined ourselves and our hardest confusions
I hope that my God is also their lie.
Drug is our truth and our home is the chaos
Cold-blooded night and the silence above
Death should take all, doesn’t it say you something?
Everything now is complete in this fact…
And so, every motion will lead us to nothing
Swallowed by time, hour glassing last drop
Don’t fool yourself or just leave me here dying
Forget me now… I’m so fucked up.

Judas And Christ

Lord Jesus Christ stood silent upon the voice of the forgotten spirit. And
His eyes looked down...

Sweet art thy wings, oh, the archangel!
No one can buy them for ten silver coins
Hath thou expected the poor little stranger?
To scatter your soldier like tin stannic toys

Did you remember the savagery, my Lord?
Old Testament given for hundred of stones
Falling on us but without holy effort
Cleansing away mother earth from the drones

But nothing it is before lie that’s being saying
For hundreds of years in your name, from their names
Lying so humbly, lying when praying
So scared to death of the infernal flames

And what is the truth in a mouth of betrayer
Love is a lie! And in lie shall we dwell
I have betrayed you because I have loved you
Let them in heaven and get their sick well...

Neither thee, my Lord, nor you, my Satan might contain all my hatred...

“Today I’ve seen the palest sun
It looked with horror at the earth
It asked me where was human being…

Today I’ve seen the scorpion
It smiled to me and asked me first
Where was the human being”...?

And now your Judas is blind
Take me, Jesus,
I am so tired...

Umber

What a danger is taking me now?
If I’ve already lost the fight
What a sorrow without a pride
Comes tonight…

What a voice from the heaven’s dark
From the black of the ancient scripts
Wakes me from holy nightmare like this
Tremble heedfully of nuclear spark

What a hope, sister hope, wilderness
If the wine flows like water down
Without tears and the shining crown
But tonight…
Tonight…

Swallow your pride
And the guilt of the shades caressed
Follows every word you confessed
With silence

Amateur for the night
Says adieu as there no more light
And no guidance
And for now you don’t know where they are
All those fays who would guide you by hand
And the lightning crashes the land
And I meet her unconscious

What is heart if it beats no more?
What is life if it flows away?
What is pain when you feel no more?
What is love if you cannot stay?

What is day if I see no light?
What is dream if you cannot wake?
What is given if you can’t take?
What is wrong if it’s still not right?

Wounded Wings

You were a falcon in the sky
A white dove of new day
You were a single ray so shy
On shadowed thin alley
You were a dream. Did not come true
For just the one of us
You fell down to the world of dime
And broke your wings alas
The roses watched you lay in pain
The nightingales have cried
They knew you’d never rise again
But what did they abide
The prince did not come here, my dear
The darkness found you first
She gave her black to take you clear
And silence quenched your thirst
So here you are with wounded wings
And eyes so full of tears
You look up high to land of dreams
You’ve lost forever here.
I do not know where are you now,
I cannot hear your song
I watch the same – the mackerel prow
To where you did belong
The road is dark so always be,
So always be, my dear
Once seen by you happy and free
A second I was here…

Angels Torn

With the blessings of sticky idol
They stretch snow white wings up to fly
With the blood on their lips and icon
They send all the firstborns to die

With the lust outshined by their glitter
With the bright emptiness in their heart
They behold our mortal fever
They were sent to enjoy our hunt

Dressed in love like expensive cover
Hide saliva of hunger’s taste
Saying words of the Lord – no – other
Trying to differ for our waste

Take you sword, my sweet boy, if you can
I have come not for your false caress
I am anger and hate of your den
Voice of your own injustice disgraced

Maiden death
Help me be
Catch my breath
Walk with me

Lead me through
Hope so vain
Love you cruel
Greet you, Cain

Where’s your chastity when you hide
Lust in your fragile bosom I see
Righteousness in the devil ride
More respectable now for me

Hate you, liar, would not you confess
That you’re torn from your heaven of lies
Where’s your God on the Earth, where’s the blessed
You are nothing but prey for the flies

I’m sick of my tears I need your cold blood
Watching you die so slowly at me
Take your charms to your grave; heaven’s scream is so loud
You would know what it is to be free.

(Satisfy my eager to dust)

Voodoo Incense

The grave of teraphim drinks
Silver water from well of snakes
Black roses smirch the incense
Spellbound with long forgotten dreams
Saturnalia greets the outcast
Dagon returns to the haunted west
From the banks of Acheron
Spiraling circles of ancient reflections
Flee to my eyes with the sweet black magic
Morphing me with sweet cold poison
With the emptiness blasphemy and loneliness
Who’s there cadent inside of me?
Who is making me smile?
Dethroned from the mirror kingdom
Don’t know from where came those strange lines
Lines I draw in the sand
Hurricane sleeps in me
A beautiful existence of insects
Tumbled, mixed, bereaving…
We betrayed our beloved
Yielding the visions of distance
(Harvest of spirits)
Dizzy of nectars and ethers
A paradise of killing masquerades
Crashing down to our last weary second
Cursed with our evanescence…

Though I Am Dead In Your Heart

So much sorrow and pain I have drunk from your heart
So much peace, so much hope I pursued in your eyes
Leave you grieving when you lean your way to depart
Morning dew is my blood like the cold morning skies

Lost forever in you, blind with my broken dream,
Never loved, never cared, so ridiculously dark.
Every your warmest kiss was a scar deep in me
Every smile pierced me then like a death’s rapid dart

And they mock at me now hiding faces away
Page is turned but it’s turned to the cold northern night
I am numb outboard lost forever in day
But I love you, my dear, though I’m dead in your heart.

I’ve forsaken my God again
Dimmed in my somber mind of pain
I’ve foreseen mournful death. I’m slain
Loneliness where I’m free again…

River carries my tears, words of love never told
Breath of hope never sighed but a future denied
Start again? Nevermore! I shall place myself bold
Out of bonds I had made between us – they held tight.

No more sunshine in me
I am dead in your heart
I am unborn to be
Ugly thorns from the start

Tell me why should I keep
Heart inside demon’s flesh
Fiery eyes burnt to weep
Ash of my fallen eyelash

Rejected

Thank you my angel you have come
To take me far away
Thank you my dear the time has come
I found my only way

This pain I driven to insane
Without you
The million prayers I said in vain
Without you…

“The angel said he wouldn’t talk to me
He doesn’t want to spend his chrism on me
He said my words can never give him hope
My wings don’t give him flight
My angel dropped”

Damn you the bastard of your selfish light
Leave me away return to me this night
Leave with your pride I’ll never need you more
Rejoice my decay as thousand days before

Take them and give them faces beautiful
Give perfect flesh and hearts obeying all
Throw emptiness I brood with me downstairs
I’m not your kind. I am the fucking monster!!!

Devour my hope destroy my memory
Eat out my heart and let it sink with me
I hate you more than myself you filthy dream
I’m always in love with darkness and her scream

As my blasphemy did never take you deep
Neither my prayer nor my harrowing weep
Strangle me with the envy so befouled
Look at me straight when in your eyes I fall

Before you are dead in my collapsing soul
Follow your way don’t never ever call
In this fucking world I’ll never ever try
Leave me the spurned just let me die tonight…

Hail

I am the demon that sends to you
The beauty of his dreams
I am your power descending you
When nothing’s what it seems
I’m in a gothic labyrinth
You are my dying light
I am the blackened monolith
You are my silent night
I am the nightingale of doom
The singularity
Cold breath of winds upon a tomb
You are my sanity
The cloven hoof and silent cross
The streamlined winter haze
The pigeon kite that children toss
The foreign tongues that maze

Broken mirrors of reality in the eyes of exhausted people under the heat,
melting, leaking...
Velocity of change for pain and pleasure is infinity in the sight of the sun. The perfumes of youth, the place you’ve never been, but you see you knew them all. Fusing the burning smell of magnolias and breathing the ale from a mouth of a drunken man. Old mad woman with her hundred barking bitches. A beautiful dream that turned to nightmare and a nightmare that saved you from reality. Wilderness in bloom is driving me mad... driving me mad

You are my hope I disappoint
To give you hope again
The well of snakes, the turning point
The creature of my pain
The fabulous I search to kill
The helping hand I bless
Sometimes pathetic, sometimes still
Like spirit I confess
Do not believe do not renounce
The lie but that ain’t nice
Remember, what has happened once
Will surely happen twice

May Fire Burn You Fucking Bastards

May it be. The terror gonna start new game.
May it be. The courageous hero’s dead again.
Let it take. I follow every sobbing cry
Let it break. I follow every call to die.

Day by day evil takes the entire good piece by piece
Orphans cry, mothers weep over their dying children
Old men starve craving for alms with growing disease.
Desperate cry: Fuck you, king, get me knife, get me gun here…

Shots are heard but for poverty fighting their rights
Fucking bitches elite live in comfortable light
Not their palaces burn but the asylums for poor
Satan, oh the almighty, gorge your fire, fucking Lord!

I am tired want to throw myself into that fire
Shit and scorn, humiliated the bourgeois admire
May the fire burn you fucking bastards
Get my hidden grenades set your fucking lives on fire!!!!!!!

See you die from my hand
Hail the devil that comes
I shall blow them again
I shall turn them to dust
Bastard bitches, beware
Nothing can stop me now
Till my death I won’t care
Ripping your golden crown
Far from God, far from life
I’ll astonish this night
Satisfy all the screams
Let the slaughter go right