ARDALLION - Сайт Вячеслава Карижинского. "Alien Light Tomorrow" (2020)


"Alien Light Tomorrow" (2020)

Quarante jours

Quarante jours de douleur,
seulement de la douleur,
remplacer tous les autres sentiments,
je crois.

Il fait encore froid
Nos ciel de marbre
inscrit dans un paysage gris.
Je n'l'ai pas pris...

Masque mortuaire de notre parc
et un lac
Rien à cacher

Et roue du diable,
grande roue figée en sépia
dans un pressentiment muet
de douleur déchirante.

Quarante jours des larmes...
Seulement des larmes
Là, devant la fenêtre,
Ma veillesse solitaire.

J'voudrais réécrire
le sort de l'univers.
Comme tremblement de terre...
Ce paradis
s'est transformé en enfer.

Quaronte ans
nous n'étions pas ensemble.
Si, nous n'avons jamais
été ensemble...

Et je n'ai pas assez de photographs
pour finir notre histoire
Je n'ai pas assez de musique
pour la donner un souffle.

Et je camoufle
comme la couronne de pierre tombale
sèche fanée,
sur la tombe oubliée
d'un enfant,
la colline sale de destin emmenée.

Je n'ai pas assez de poésie
pour perpétuer sa voix.
Et je me manque
mais d'être une personne.

Je suis juste un fantôme qui n'a jamais participé à la vie.
J'ai brûlé comme une fleur déchirée sur l'autel des mots oubliés,
coincé pour toujours dans ton piège de songes, le berceau de tes rêves.
Et j'ai plié mes ailes, des ailes mortes dans la toile pâle d'araignée,
la toile des pluies d'argent, rayons du soleil froid et sans sommeil.
je suis juste un fantôme sans passé ni futur...
Fantôme extraterrestre, pleurant constamment le monde étranger, le monde en mutation...

Forty days

Forty days of pain,
only pain,
replace all other feelings,
I believe.

It's still cold
Our marble sky
inscribed in a gray landscape.
I didn't take it ...

Death mask from our park
and a lake
dried up.
Nothing to hide

And devil's wheel,
Ferris wheel frozen in sepia
in a silent feeling
of heartbreaking pain.

Forty days of tears ...
Only tears
There, in front of the window,
Dwells my lonely old age.

I would like to rewrite
the fate of the universe.
Like an earthquake ...
This paradise
turned into hell.

Forty years
we were not together.
Yes, we've never
been together ...

And I don't have enough photographs
to finish our story
I don't have enough music
to give it a breath.

And I camouflage
like the tombstone crown
dry faded,
on the forgotten grave
of a child,
the dirty hill of destiny taken away.

I don't have enough poetry
to perpetuate his voice.
And I miss myself
but to be a person.

I'm just a ghost who never participated in life.
I burned like a torn flower on the altar of forgotten words,
forever trapped in your dream trap, the cradle of your dreams.
And I folded my wings, dead wings in the pale spider web,
the canvas of silver rains, the cold and sleepless rays of the sun.
I'm just a ghost with no past or future ...
Extraterrestrial ghost, constantly crying over the foreign world, the changing world ...

Foy Your Age

Won't tamper any move of yours, I will not say a word
Coz all the tunes are beautiful from someone else's chord.
The most important thing I've learned through all those bitter years
Is to behold the feast of stars and never intefere.

Don't call me - I will not follow
And your pretty friends - they wouldn't like me
(As they always did...)
For both of us there is no tomorrow
So don't give life to thing that shouldn't be

But foy your age
On a dancefloor, on the stage
In the fireworks of days
I'll watch you from my silent lonely place...

The dreams that hurt the most are used to come alive again
So fire and the water meet to taste each other's pain
It's always wrong to care of them, the hold is first to fail
Let story go, let story end, endure the farewell

Don't call me - I will not follow
This is not my world - I'm just a wayfarer
For both of us there is no tomorrow
So don't turn back - it takes no endavour

Foy your age!
On a dancefloor, on the stage
In the fireworks of days
I'll watch you from my silent lonely place...

All your sex and all your violence are the stories yet untold
And your suicidal longing blissful as the fingers cold
Busted on the ice, those tears, wet knees and starfalls at betrayal
Roofs of partings, wine and waining on the rear of winter tale.
On the forehead of the gale

Don't call me - I will not follow
For both of us there is no tomorrow
And foy your age
On a dancefloor, on the stage
In the fireworks of days
I'll watch you from my silent lonely place...

Invisible Jeopardy

It was the...
Belated dream, the silent slumber at the end of the world
There were the colours in the dark, the light and shape that we could hold
It was the nowhere station, feast among the dreadful plague
The hearts fullfilled with something in exaggeration of the vague
It was...
Our common ground, our common food where we could drink and dance and flirt
The common lover, washed my hair and I drew flowers on your old shirt
Oh, rain it comes, yeah, rain it comes with rayons and the confetti and sound
Say that you're happy now, I am happy now on this common ground...

And the morning sun will throw its scarlet daggers
On these cold obsidian walls of our domestic dungeon
We're on quarantine but somehow we got peter luger
And the pint of beer accompanied our stratos flangin'

The invisible jeopardy of being who you are
Unforgivable entity we dreamt upon a star

It is the...
Message in the Skype - "Welcome" - And here I am!
I walk off my room, entering yours - it's just the same
All our rooms have merged into one endless universal hostel
And we can walk the earth and walk the world like kings of castle
We're not ashamed to cry and tell the silly things as we all have been friends,
Approved with no denial, no need to apprehend
Come all bizarre with soliloquys, allowed to laugh and sing
And not afraid of morning guilt we'd vomit in the sink

But the morning sun will throw its scarlet daggers
On these cold obsidian walls of our domestic dungeon
Once again the worst of nightmare leaves us
But the best of dream it once agan deceives us
The invisible jeopardy of being who you are
Unforgivable entity we dreamt upon a star

Hooray the day, behold the world afar!


Time and again
When I watch you wankin' on a midnight screen
I feel like there can't be such beauty in a world
There ain't such a crazy lottery I could win
Such a crown of gold
And I feel myself like a fucking faggot

Dear babe,
Your account allows only those who'd pay
Pay for right to say a pitty word
And to beg you for an obscene thing to show
(I'd pay for only dance If i could)

I am just old, drunk, ugly, wotrhless motherfucker
I hate myself and I wanna die - Curt, your words are eternal
I wanna slash my fucking throat I wanna bleed my pain on you
I wanna bleed my cum on you, I wanna be your fucking dildo
Wothless cunt - how can you be that gorgeous?
Disgust my soul, hate my body!

And I don't deserve nobody's love
If you were my friend, I'd say:
"You know, my friend - there are people who cannot be loved
And who can't love coz they've never known that feeling
Inside or outside,
Simply upside down"
But you're not my friend and I am nothing to you
So wear your crown
And I will cut myself for more

A thousand knives heart
In a dark room forever...
Bleeding and throwing up
Hundreds of posions...

There's no one who'd even talk to me
Swallow that, bitch, and fucking die!

We are just fucking machines
Sick with our dreams' disease
We think we are something more
Than our hunger and pain
And lust....

Be there my last
Romantic vision
Drowned in the flame of larvae
Devouring my dismembered and mutilated flesh
Rotting on the forsaken Shore
Of the ocean...
As I will die blissful
Imagining myself... fucking you...
Where my dirty pain is like the sex of gods
And my black semen is omnious
Like those letters of my epitath
On the barren stone

For everyone to see...

I Wanna Be Your Bonobo

I wanna solve our problems easy
I want us always a little dizzy
And when the sorrows come advent
I wanna be your horny friend
And solve it all with a gang-bang

I wanna be your bonobo
In the forest of wild bonobos
Instead of beign thу marmoset
Angry as hell and so fucking stupid

Bang-bang when the shadows are coming
Bang-bang when the rains are cold
Bang-bang when the grief surrounds us
And all our cinder will turn back to gold

I wanna pet you instead of fighting
I wanna come instead of spilling blood
I wanna see the goddamn culture splashing
On shores of lies it brings like vernal flood
On sharpest stones of its pathetic taboos
Come ride me shaking your miraculous boobs

I wanna be your horny friend (with a big dick)
I wanna be your bonobo


Gang-bang when the shadows are coming
Gang-bang when the rains grow cold
Gang-bang when the grief surrounds us
And all our cinder will turn back to gold

I wanna be your bonobo
In the forest of wild bonobos

Give Us A Chance

Every night I'm in the nightmare
Watching my kins die in horror
And the universe of fire
Taking all the goodness over

And there is no sense in living
If the whole our future lines out
And I'm staying in the prison
Of my somber days exhausted

Take my life if you need
Let us end days together
Give our lives one more chance
Who would lie, who would pay

Aeons of mourning, unreturning
Turn to ashes with our moaning
Hatred fills us, black diseases
Rivers run red, who can stand that?


Into A Silent Sea

"A painful thing life is. Mysterious arrangements
of merciless logic for a futile purpose"
-Joseph Conrad

We're paralyzed in our futility.
We're drifting dead into a silent sea.
We watch the quiet movie serpentine -
The lives undone almost like your and mine.

The haunted dreams, oh, nothing they would give
Cept what we gave to them in random breeding
The hunted heart, no longer you believe
Dive deeper down with those shadows bleeding

No one would care thy wings fall on the waves
Wings strangled by the veil, the funeral tulle of cobwebs
A thousand crossroad passed, the thousand highways passed
Be there my last, my everlasting...

Until I drown in velvet light of love
The pouring shine of dimmed serenity,
The rain of violets shower from above
Oh, would it wipe away all our tears?

We're martyred with our dark fertility
Explicitly in walled-up hopeless violence
Keep distances forever quarantine
Stranded in a sea of outer silence

No one would care my hope fall on the waves
My years that run those mossy trails of past
A thousand meadow passed, my weary hours clasped
Be there my last,
Be there my everlasting...

Drown deeper down with me
Into a silent sea.

Dark Greed Of Wonder

Harp and cross build stories
And the realistic Lord
As no sense for us to stop it
Fasten souls against your haunt

The innocent will override
In chrism of the night
Drown in foam as in your heart
A phantom licks the sores

The measure of exploiting
Is all treasure of your flight

In the grapes of non-believer
Grows wine for stories lunch
An the rythm of deception
Ties my wings to cluster bunch

In the curse of free tomorrow
In the cradle of this lie
Mesmerized in cave of horror
Like a flower to my eye

The crystal faith goes blackward
Another cradle for a mind
Rather power graps the wonder
Like a flower to my eye

The greed of wonder
The either trace of flame
The rather time of wonder
Together we would prey

And evil face of thunder
Will never us deny
But crash and burn our shackle
Like a castle in the sky

Like a castle in the sky
Burns the hold of ancient grief
As the raven of our far cry
Holds the deepest scar within

Changes Advent

I'm wondering what changes are about
There ain't no question of what's wrong or right
It is so hot, the night is soldering
Us on that hunted ground, I fall for every hour

The reason that we cry,
The reason that we hope
And then before I die I hope
Forevermore (for us to see)

In just one day we have outlived at all
The pain grows deep, the twilight zone
The barren sun, it shines but never warms
It sees our hands and folds
Forever empty scores

The reason that I cry,
The reason that I fall
I pray this foreign light
But nevermore

Changes of inevitable unreturning loss
Is all that I'm afraid of, afraid to death, to my bone
I pray to the neon light and feel my mind go sleight
Diis ignotis rip forward my eyes

Beyond Doom

We all started there in our encapsulated worlds
With the future of gray and the dark past of gold
The removable tattoos, subcultural flavor
Synth and drum and gothiс vibe, extreme metal endeavor

Phantoms of the love unborn
Over seas of all imaginary loss
We were doomed but time and fate
Were still afar, always yet to advent

We started there with soaring veins with oceans of wine
As like life itself threw roses down our feet
The intoxicated letters all night long
And the fragile sense of common ground where we belonged

Now I don't recognize
The world around me...
The more it is famaliar to the one I knew
The more it hurts...
Balloons on the streets
People part and meet
French style of old Bysantian gin mill
Against my memory, against my will
Why do I stay here still?
Where do I belong?
Where do I belong?

Phantoms of the barren hearts
Tell me what has happened to us?
We were doomed but time and fate
Were still afar, always yet to advent
We were doomed but it was not too late, too late!!!

Where do I belong?

October 10, 2020

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